im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
