please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
