I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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