hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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