all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
