Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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