Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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