We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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