Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize