is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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