You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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