Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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