It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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