I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
