Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
