at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
