butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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