dude i'm inner monologue high
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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