I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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