When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
