I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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