Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
