I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
