When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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