Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
