your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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