It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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