You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
