2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
