The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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