Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize