Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
