He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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