He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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