God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
