Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
