You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
