Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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