Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
