"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have fence marks all over my body
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
