At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
