I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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