operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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