Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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