when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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