i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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