She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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