NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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