I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize