I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
