i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
