The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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