People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
