I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
