They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
