who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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