She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
