Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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