i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize