i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
