hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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