Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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