Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
