your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
