I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
